Perspectives
We need to be curious like a child
I recently read an account of a young woman (we’ll call her Sarah) who won her fight with stage four cancer. Since having cancer was a new experience, Sarah decided to use it as her teacher. Sarah had her moments of screaming her anger and frustration, but she concentrated on learning about herself and being a better person as the result of her experience. Now cured, Sarah credits being a good student as a contributing factor to her success.
As I read the account of her story, I wondered, “Why do we have to experience major adversity before we get smart?” Smart people use every experience as an opportunity to improve themselves and their quality of life.
I wish I were smarter (I know many of you do as well!).
We live through routines. Think about that. I’m writing this article on a Sunday morning. My schedule of activities today will probably mirror that what I did last Sunday. Yes, our freedom of choice allows us to make other decisions, but typically, routines control our lives. I’m not saying that routines are bad. Without them, our lives would be chaotic. I’m saying that we need to add a new routine in our lives.
We need to become curious like a child. At the beginning of every day, we need to think about approaching the day through a child’s eyes. What is going to happen today? What am I going to learn as the result of living through today’s experiences? How am I going to be a better person as the result of living through this day? How will I be able to improve the quality of my life and those I touch today?
For over thirty years, I’ve tried to live and teach people to use the daily doses of frustrations as teaching moments. The more successful we become at dealing with these frustrations, the more efficiently we’ll be able to handle the BIG ones that will come our way. Just moments ago while pouring another cup of coffee this morning; my wife told me that Marie Osmond’s son committed suicide yesterday. Adversity struck. No one is immune.
Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist, a holocaust survivor, and author of Man’s Search for Meaning, used his terrible experience to define his therapeutic approach. He concluded that the key to endurance is to find meaning in the midst of adversity. What a challenge. Sarah was able to do it. Like you, I’ve read accounts of other individuals who have done the same. It can be done. The question is can you and I do it?
Frankl offered this bit of advice, “Live as if you were living a second time, and as though you had acted wrongly the first time.”
I wish I was better at following Frankl’s advice. I’m smart enough not to use a hammer to smash my thumb. Other times I am so stupid. My wife will tell you that I let frustrating situations take momentary control of my life. That emotional hammer causes me to lose precious moments of quality living. To make matters worse, in addition to that emotional hammer hurting me, it generally affects others — usually my wife. That’s not good.
Yes, our frailties make being human a challenge. Sometimes I think we ought to be more like our friendly pets. They usually don’t let the small stuff bother them. Instead, they focus on enjoying every day.
As of today, I’m changing my morning routine to include thinking about being curious like a child. I want to be good student. I want to a better person at the end of the day than I was when I started it. I hope you’ll accept the same challenge.
Larry Cole, Ph.D., founded TeamMax®, Inc. and the TeamMax® methodologies to improve employee performance to maximize financial success. He is the author of People-$mart Leaders: Maximize People, Performance & Profits. Each year he speaks to thousands of people on personal development, change management and measuring behavioral change. He can be reached at: larry@aligningchange.com
