Perspectives

Publisher’s Perspective Volume 1, Issue 1

I once read that one of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his greatest surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.

It is not uncommon to hear an executive or board member conclude a conversation by saying “we can’t do that here.” Most of the time the reason given for this impossible task is that there is someone or some organization that simply won’t budge. “Over the years we’ve tried everything, and just hit a brick wall,” they say. It seems reasonable to this publisher that now is your best chance for success, especially after all these time-consuming things that won’t work have been eliminated.
So what will work? It’s about building relationships, and not about appointing committees.

We have been entering into relationships since the beginning of time; what we have not been able to accomplish yet is lasting and meaningful relationships. Of course there are a few, but for the most part maintaining the relationships are oft times harder than building them.

I’m talking about a relationship where individuals come together for common goals; one that is not abusive toward any position held, one that listens to ideas with the purpose of better understanding the perspectives of all involved. A relationship where there are no winners because those involved are committed to each other, not only around the table, but to those who don’t even know you are meeting.

Compliance issues may bring these folks together, but commitment to a common goal will keep them working together so as to be successful. So, is it possible to achieve such a relationship with the great diversity all stakeholders bring to the table? And of course the answer is yes, it is absolutely possible.

It begins with trust. You can have a committee without trust, but you can’t have a meaningful relationship without trust. Think about the groups, committees, or boards to which you belong. If there is someone in that committee that you just can’t trust, the problem will very likely be you. If you aren’t willing to trust one another, any perceived success will be short lived.

The next critical step in maintaining the relationship is good old fashion honesty and integrity. If it needs said, say it, but say it with kindness. If we can’t say it with kindness, don’t say it all. If you can’t say it so as to build the bridge, then what you are about to say is above your pay grade. Find someone who can mediate or facilitate the issue so as not to tear down what’s already established.

One of the most vital qualities for a strong and meaningful relationship, for bringing all stakeholders together, even those who may not agree with you is the ability to listen with all your heart. This kind of relationship requires that our listening goes beyond just words. We must connect emotionally with others to accomplish what you are unable to accomplish alone. Listening intently to what the person is not saying is just as important as listening to what is being said. Rather than get frustrated at the tone of voice being used, try to understand why they struggle so getting their message across. We want people not only to hear what we say, but also to feel what we feel.

If we understand this to be true, then how much more important is it that each of us set the example for creating the environment that allows all of our stakeholders to be winners in keeping our state a safer place to live and work.

Try it, and you’ll be surprised to find that the impossible is not really impossible. It just takes a little longer.